You work differently. good.

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Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 6.3.26

"Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it." — Henry Ford

A note from me…

There is a version of working hard that nobody ever taught you because it doesn't look like what we've been taught to believe work “should” look like from the outside.

It's the strategy work that happens at 6am when you're sitting with your coffee before the house wakes up and you're turning a problem over in your mind, examining it from every angle. It's the big idea that comes in on the walk where you aren't listening to anything, just thinking. It's the aha of the next right step that comes to you in the shower, in the in-between, in the quiet spaces most people have been conditioned to fill with more meetings, more noise, more visible busyness.

Cognitive work is still work. Strategy is still work. Contemplation is still work. Some of the most important work I've ever done looked, from the outside, like nothing at all.

The best work I've ever produced required two things most high-achievers have been trained to deny themselves: a regulated nervous system and spaciousness. 

Not the kind you schedule in a productivity app or hear about in a meeting. The kind of spaciousness that comes from actually trusting your own mind's process enough to protect it. The kind that comes from refusing to perform productivity for an audience.

We've been modeled a specific version of what working hard looks like. Calendars back-to-back meetings with no time to think or to pee. Always available, responding immediately. Always online, with teams chat green. Always arriving early and staying late with your butt in your chair. 

That model serves organizations that need workers to be seen. It does not serve the essential ingredients for real deep work itself. And it absolutely does not serve you if your goals are more conscious leadership, intentional action, and true strategic effort.

So I want to offer you a full permission slip to unschool yourself from others' ways of working.

When someone tells you that you work differently, I want you to be able to say: heck yes I do, thank goodness.

I learned this unschooling lesson the hard way. One of the most crushing things a colleague ever said to me was this: "You say you're working hard but I just don't see it."

Ouch.

I'm an Enneagram 3 achiever, which means my baseline is already set to "exceed expectations" in all things. And yet, to someone on the outside, none of the very hard work I was doing was visible. Oof. 

It was painful in a particular way that I think a lot of high-performing women know well. The pain of doing really good work and still having it questioned. And here's what I've learned since.

One: Others' comments about my work are about them, not me

One of my strengths is managing a variety of complex tasks at once and making it look easeful. That's a skill. But when something looks manageable, it can read to observers, especially ones who haven't taken the time to understand what the effort actually entails, as "easy." 

The ease, however, is the product of earned expertise. All of our expertise and exceptional competence is the result of years of work and collected experience. None of the ease of what I now have negates the hard work it took to acquire it.

Two: Others' ABCs about work are showing

We all carry Agreements, Beliefs, and Conditioning (ABCs) installed over decades. One of the most pervasive is this: work has to look like a grind. 

It has to feel hard and visible and somewhat miserable, because suffering is what we've been taught to associate with effort and seriousness and merit. When someone is joyful and happy and delighted by their work, it triggers a belief that they must not be doing it right because it seems “too fun” or “too easy” to be real work. 

Thankfully, my nearly seven years of entrepreneurship have shown me the opposite over and over. My most productive seasons have been my most joyful ones. When I'm energized by my work and its impact, when I've protected the spaciousness to think clearly and lead well, when I'm working hard in the ways that actually fit how I'm built are when I drive the most results.

Working differently - with more joy and a grounded understanding of how you work best - is not working less. It's working in a way that's actually designed for you.

Unschool yourself. Protect your own unique process. And own it.

Sincerely, 

Bree

P.S. Your feedback on the new summer program Be, a quick-start Work Recovery Method program, has been amazing! And what I'm hearing is many of you want to enjoy a self-discovery summer like it offers but your schedule is limited. So I'm going to work real hard to create an asynchronous series that will allow you to access it on your own time, when it works for you. Stay tuned for a kickoff in June!

New here? Sign up for the Weekly Dose of WR — and if you love it, share it with a friend!

This week's did you know…Another Reason to Dislike Tech

AI is now analyzing your face in meetings to determine if you're "amused" or "impatient" — and yes, it's already been licensed to schools, mental health apps, and McDonald's, which apparently thinks your furrowed brow deserves a discount. 

The technology is called emotion AI, and tools like MorphCast are sold to corporate businesses to stealthly evaluate your emotions and energy during work – so here's your PSA that it's coming for your RBF at work face whether you opted in or not. Consider this your official note that your meeting camera may be doing more than making you look bad on video calls…

Source: The Rise of Emotional Surveillance, The Atlantic

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