Carrying Everyone Else’s Expectations? It’s Time to Remember Yourself
Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 12.3.25
“Renewal is what happens when we return to ourselves.” - bell hooks
First, I’m curious — did you set and keep your joy date?
I kept mine: ten quiet minutes in the sauna alone. I can’t say it was peaceful (my brain was replaying work like a highlight reel), but the journaling afterward revealed something I needed to see.
Sometimes joy dates don’t give us joy. They give us clarity.
Here’s what came through for me:
I’ve been silently carrying the weight of everyone else’s expectations.
Thanksgiving morning, I woke up early to start the cinnamon rolls and bacon — my kids’ favorites — and prep the dish for the holiday meal. No one asked me to. I just knew that if I didn’t do it, I’d hear about it. If your kids love pointing out when you’ve forgotten a “favorite” or a “tradition,” you get it. Mine sure do.
And the kicker? The cinnamon rolls flopped. Literally. Flat and a little crispy. I am not a baker. So of course I heard about that too — not unkindly, just in that honest “these aren’t our usual ones” way kids have.
It didn’t stop there.
All weekend, it became painfully obvious how much I over-function to serve and delight those I love.
The alarm I set so we could leave early and delight my oldest? Me.
The favorite snacks packed for the hotel? Me again.
The night I didn’t eat dinner because everyone wanted DQ? Still me.
When you’re the memory maker, the planner, the detail holder — you also end up being the one who quietly carries the burden of prioritizing literally everyone else first.
And it doesn’t just show up in families. It shows up at work too.
When you’re the over-responsible one who makes life easier for everyone, people start treating it like a given. And before you realize it, you’re living inside a pile of expectations you never actually agreed to. How does this show up for you? Do you feel the heavy weight of others' expectations and the responsibility to be the one who just does the things without question?
It's that precise external pressure that causes us to lose track of the parts of ourselves that don’t serve anyone else. Reclaiming even moments for ourselves requires active efforts and energy.
Here’s the truth I'm simmering in:
You don’t need to reinvent yourself.
You need to remember yourself. And take action for her alone.
And that’s the work I’m here to help you do with these two upcoming events.
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1. Soul Goal Reset Virtual Workshop – December 16, 2025
Mark your calendar 11:30 CST Tuesday December 16 for our free 2026 Soul Goal Reset workshop. I'll lead a breathwork, journaling, and reflection session to help you tap back into you and your desires for the upcoming year. Soul Goal Session waitlist here. If you're not able to make the session live, join the waitlist and I'll share the recording once we wrap.
2. The Creative Reset — January 17, 2026
A one-day gathering at The Coven St. Paul where we step out of the strong-one identity and into something lighter, more honest, more you. We’re going to flex our creativity muscle, reset, and reconnect with the spark you had before you started carrying the weight of everyone else’s lives. Register here.
If you're a business owner and want to share your business, we're also looking for amazing vendor partners for the event. Join us!
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The real, authentic you wouldn’t ask about your title or your to-do list. She’d ask if you still make things. If you give back to your joys. If you make time for you.
She'd ask if you still dream. If not, let’s go find her again together.
— Bree
P.S.
This Week's Did You Know? The OOO Message That Hurts
What if we told the truth in our OOO messages? What lived reality might we expose? Many working women, fed up with juggling all the things without respect, pay, or time off are using their OOO message to share the real truth about what it means to be a caregiver without paid leave. Their messages speak to not having paid leave to care for a dying parent, return to work too soon after a baby, and time off due to sick kids. Maybe radical OOO honesty is what we need to drive meaningful changes to caregivers' work experiences…
Source: Women Telling the Truth in Their OOO Messages. It’s Devastating, Marie Claire
Links & Resources We Love Right Now
A listen: Owning the fact that I am obsessed with Florence & the Machine, You Can Have It All is the perfect song to scream sing when wrestling with your desires. Because sometimes having it “all” looks like rebuilding when it comes crashing down. Sidenote, Florence nearly died following a ruptured ectopic pregnancy and the juxtaposition of being a woman while holding space for that pain drives her masterful new album Everybody Scream.
A learn: Ordinary Grace by William Kent Krueger shook my soul with a powerful fictional story set in Minnesota's River Valley in 1961. The heartbreaking story about a pastor's family from a 13 year old's perspective and the summer that changed everything kept me guessing the entire time.
A shoutout: Powerhouse Women 2026! I snagged my ticket early to the event of the year. Took action and decided to choose me for one full weekend in August and I cannot wait.
Something I love: Gemini Full Moon this week. It's energy is bound to bring things to the surface that you’ve been mentally juggling but avoiding saying out loud. Reflection: What is a truth you haven’t named yet finally asks to be acknowledged, spoken, and acted on?
