I was blasted for choosing peace. Here’s my response.
Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 3.4.26
“Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.” — Audre Lorde
It's funny how the Universe has a way of giving us the medicine we most need. And here's what it looked like for me.
Last week I shared the foundation of work recovery by outlining why it's essential to preserve our sense of selves and our sanity amid the pressures of modern work.
Fast forward to Saturday, and we all simultaneously learned the news upon waking about our country's engagement in a major foreign military effort. For most of us, it was a wildly jarring headline to digest alongside our weekend coffee. I was awake before the rest of my house, sitting in a bit of disbelief and sadness, reading about all that transpired.
As a Minnesotan, this year has had the feeling of one thing after the next, compounding day after day after day. My heart hurts from so much of the suffering, and Saturday was no exception. And so feeling at my wits end, I shared on social media that I would be spending the day in peace practices, because my reserves were so low that I truly needed my own medicine of recovery and rest to find solid ground again.
The response was swift.
Many folks on the internet blasted my intentional Saturday choice as gross privilege and a reason why white women are "the worst." I was called many names by the social media mob.
It stung for a moment. Until I realized what it said about our culture.
It revealed that many still believe that in a world burning with urgency and chaos, choosing peace is an act of selfishness, especially for women. That to rest is to abandon the work of making our world a better place.
Nothing could be further from the truth. I've read countless books by incredible women authors and activists — Lorde, hooks, Burke, and many more — all of whom are crystal clear on the exact opposite thesis than the one the social media mob was peddling.
These women who dedicated their lives to justice, to liberation, to the long work. And every single one of them wrote, in their own way, about the non-negotiability of replenishment and joy.
It is not a privilege to recognize when you are at the end of your rope. It is not elitist to acknowledge depletion. It is not indulgent to replenish yourself so you can show up — for your family, your team, your clients, and yes, for the work of making the world a better place.
The most sustainable changemakers understand that you cannot serve from depletion. Full stop.
Recovery Isn't the Opposite of the Work. It Is the Work.
This is the reframe I return to every time volatility and chaos resurface in my external world: my sense of safety is built through regulation, not overextension.
Rest becomes radical because it interrupts the trauma loop that tells us we're not enough just as we are. Recovery is strategic because it builds internal stability when external stability is unreliable or absent.
And the people who last with their sanity intact — the real, long-haul changemakers — know this deeply.
So what does real recovery actually look like? Not bubble baths (though also, maybe bubble baths). It's the micro-recovery practices that restore nervous system baseline. Things like:
Permission to flow: Releasing the death grip on your to-do list
Slower decision-making: Not every input requires an immediate response
Strategic withdrawal: Saying no as leadership, not abandonment
Deep focus over frantic action: Doing fewer things, better and with greater presence
The most sustainable visions, in our work, in our lives, in our efforts to contribute to something larger than ourselves, are built from internal authority, not external pressure.
You are not a machine. You are not required to earn rest. And taking action when you become aware of your own depletion is not a privilege.
It is wisdom.
Take good care of yourselves this week.
Sincerely,
Bree
P.S. If you want structured support with work recovery, 1:1 mentorship offers personalized guidance, nervous system regulation tools, and practical strategies to help you recover from work and reclaim energy, clarity, and capacity. Reply to this message anytime. I read and reply to every one of them.
This week's did you know…How to GAIN your way to presence
G.A.I.N. is a four-step micro-recovery reset designed for moments when things feel overwhelming. It's an intentional pause to regulate your nervous system before pushing forward.
Ground — Take one minute to breathe and reconnect with your body. Nothing more.
Acknowledge — Name what's actually happening. Identify the specific change, swing, or pressure you're currently navigating.
Inquire — Ask yourself: What's mine to hold right now? What belongs to someone else? This step is about releasing what isn't yours to carry.
Navigate — Set clarity and communicate it. Define your pace, your priorities, and your boundaries for what comes next.
The power of this model is in its smallness — it's designed to be done in the moment, not as an escape. It doesn't require time you don't have. It just requires a willingness to pause before the next reactive move.
Source: Work Recovery Frameworks, Executive Unschool
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