Stop Shrinking: Why Owning Your Authority Matters More Than Ever

Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 3.18.26

“Someone else's comfort should never come at the expense of your truth." 

— Glennon Doyle

This week I asked AI to critique my recent, off-the-cuff podcast. Needless to say, the feedback was direct — and landed well beyond the podcast.

It told me, in no uncertain terms, that I needed to "own my authority."

Citing too many “I thinks” and various ways of softening my ideas, it said I was too tentative for the expertise I bring to the table. It hit me with how I wasn't delivering full value because I wasn't anchoring in my inherent authority.

Whew. And it's right.

Earlier this year I spoke about stepping into a new energy — one of fearlessness and courage rooted in my own authentic ideas and beliefs. But when I turn on the mic, I'm still feeling shy, still a bit apprehensive about fully owning my perspective, my experience, and my expertise. 

Clearly, the work is never done because these questions still linger in my subconscious: Will people still like me? Will they still tune in? Is what I have to say what they want to hear?

I share this because my hunch is it might resonate with you too. You have decades of business or personal experience, yet you still go quiet — afraid of being misunderstood or rejected by the mob of the day.

Researchers have found that our deepest shared motivation isn't peace or joy. It's belonging. We are so afraid of not belonging — because belonging has meant survival for so long — that we abandon ourselves, and especially as women, our voices and our strongly-grounded, boldly-held perspectives.

We willingly give over our uniqueness, especially in boardrooms, mediation rooms, and meeting spaces, in ruthless deference to the group. And it's dulling all of our ability to have real impact and make big changes.

I know for certain that my tone of acquiescence rather than strength and persistence minimizes my impact. On the podcast, in group spaces, and even as an advisor to several for-profit and nonprofit organizations. I've confused camaraderie and "not rocking the boat" with genuine contribution.

Here's why I think we need to unschool this right now, in this season: 

The challenges facing the our world, our communities, and our work will not be solved without bold ideas and strong voices to carry them. We can be gentle in how we assess others and be big, strong, and unwavering in the beliefs and perspectives we share. 

As I write these newsletters, record my podcasts, and put content into the world, I'm not claiming my way is the right way. I'm simply saying these thoughts are mine and I'm getting clear on the fact that they deserve to be said clearly and with the full weight of my earned authority. If it resonates with you, fabulous. If not, that's okay too.

The beauty of the internet age is that we can take what we need from any speaker, writer, humanitarian, or expander — and bless and release the rest.

So here's my question for you: Where are you shrinking in a room that needs everything you've got? And what would it look like to own your hard-earned authority? 

I'd love to hear — and more importantly, I'd love to help you stop shrinking.

-Bree

P.S. If you want structured work recovery to reclaim your voice, 1:1 mentorship includes personalized guidance, self discovery tools, and practical strategies to help you recover from work and reclaim energy, clarity, and authenticity. Reply to this message anytime. I read and reply to every one of them. 

This week's did you know…Silencing the Self Is Well Documented 

In 1991, psychologist Dana Jack introduced a concept that should have made headlines then and still deserves attention now: silencing the self. 

Through her research, Jack found that women routinely suppress their own thoughts, needs, and perspectives — not out of weakness, but as a survival strategy to preserve relationships and avoid conflict. Sound familiar? It's the boardroom nod when you disagree. The softened suggestion instead of the direct statement. The "I think" when you actually know.

What's most striking  and painful is what Jack found at the end of that silence: not harmony, but a slow erosion of identity and a direct pathway to depression. Going quiet isn't professional compromise. It's a personal cost paid over time, in rooms where your voice was needed most. Which is exactly why unschooling this pattern isn't just good for your career or your impact. It's an act of radical self-preservation.

Source: Silencing the Self Theory, OUP 

P.S. If you want structured support with work recovery, 1:1 mentorship offers personalized guidance, nervous system regulation tools, and practical strategies to help you recover from work and reclaim energy, clarity, and capacity. Reply to this message anytime. I read and reply to every one of them. 

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