Stop Forcing It: A Nervous System Approach to Better Decisions
Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 11.3.25
"You can’t get to know the flow of life if you’re too busy trying to control it. Let go of your resistance, and life will carry you forward in ways your mind could never plan." - Michael Singer
Our 12 year old son unschool'd me Sunday night.
We were pressing him to choose the one Christmas gift he’d want most. Impatience got the best of us — we wanted an answer right now. He paused, looked at us, and delivered this truth bomb only a 12-year-old boy could:
Ideas are like farts. If you have to force it, it's probably sh*t.
How’s that for mindfulness wrapped in middle-school humor? 🤣
I laughed so hard I cried but the wisdom hit deep. How often do we force things — ideas, answers, decisions — only to end up with impatient, imperfect, often crappy outcomes?
That one line led to a bigger reflection I’ve been sitting with all week: As leaders, how do we know when to push and when to pause?
When is action an expression of alignment and when is it just fear of stillness disguised as productivity?
Because the real art of conscious leadership right now isn't often doing more, but knowing when to stop forcing in order to find authentic flow.
Flow vs. Force: An Unschool'd Leader’s Decision-Making Compass
When leading in volatile times, it’s easy to confuse momentum with progress.
We glorify decisiveness and assertiveness that often looks like a quick pivot and the instant solution. But speed without alignment often leads to rework, resentment, or regret.
The wiser path is learning to feel the difference between flow and force.
Here’s how I’ve started to recognize it in myself and in the leaders I coach:
When You’re in Flow
Your body feels open and energized, even if the path isn’t clear.
Decisions feel like a “yes” and arises naturally.
You trust timing and yourself - things click into place when they’re meant to.
Collaboration comes easier; conversations expand ideas.
Progress feels sustainable.
When You’re Forcing It
Your body feels tight, heavy, or wired.
You’re chasing certainty or control, demanding an answer before it’s ready.
You rush because pausing feels like failure or weakness.
Conversations shut down; feedback feels threatening.
Progress feels like pushing a boulder uphill. And it's exhausting.
The difference is subtle. And it’s felt more than thought.
That’s why leaders who stay attuned to their inner state often make better, more humane decisions. They’ve unschool'd outdated ways of working and have learned to pause long enough to listen to their own nervous system before charging forward with better outcomes and results to boot.
Before your next decision, try this 60-second pause:
Drop into your body. Where do you feel tightness or ease?
Ask: “Am I moving from clarity or compulsion?”
Wait for the answer to arise, not to be forced.
In giving yourself space to tune in you can uncover your authentic flow not derived from unnecessary force.
And, according to my son, it's also how you avoid the sh*t.
— Bree
P.S. If this year felt like an undesired gut punch to your goals, I'm working on a LIVE workshop Your 2026 Soul Goal Reset to help you identify the most aligned soul goals for 2026. Thank goodness 2025 is almost in the rearview because I'm a different person than NYE 2024 me 😂 If you want to uncover your own aligned, soul goals, join the Soul Goal Session waitlist here to hold your spot for this free Executive Unschool workshop.
This Week's Did You Know? Employers are giving “microshifting” the side eye…
The latest “flexible work” trend called microshifting encourages employees to spread work across small chunks of time throughout the day instead of traditional 9–5 hours. But experts warn it can backfire: without clear boundaries, microshifting often blurs rest and recovery time, leading to constant partial work and rising burnout. True flexibility isn’t about working anytime, around the clock. It’s about knowing when to stop and shut it down for real work recovery…
Source: The Problem with Microshifting, Inc.
Links & Resources We Love Right Now
A listen: Celebrating the near win is just as important to feeling satisfaction and our pursuit of mastery. Watch this TED Talk about why our near wins push us forward, faster with Sarah Lewis.
A learn: “Lying Flat” (tang ping) is the Chinese movement that rejects consumerism and capitalist pressure to keep striving and chasing by prioritizing a simpler life. Now I can say my sloth Sunday is just me testing the Lying Flat approach :)
A shoutout: Mindfulness practices embedded in the workplace are having a PR moment, amplifying what I've seen to be true in all of Executive Unschool's work in corporate spaces. If you or your company wants to bring peace and calm amidst the work chaos, I know someone who can help…
Something I love: Intentional breathing breaks on TikTok that regulate your heart and blood pressure by activating your calming system. Try the “resonance breathing” trend by inhaling for five seconds, exhaling for five seconds and sticking to the rhythm for at least one minute. Calm mode activated!
