Why Letting Go of the Plan Is Sometimes the Real Relief
Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 7.16.25
What if best of intentions and effort don’t lead to the outcome you hoped for?
When things fall apart—despite our best planning, effort, or pure intentions—it’s easy to feel frustrated, disappointed, even grief-stricken. And sometimes, it’s not the big failures that break us down, but the seemingly small moments that just don’t go our way.
If you’d been a fly on the wall of our car Sunday morning, you would’ve witnessed one of those moments in real time. We left for the 9:00 a.m. service at our childhood church, hoping to make it before a 10:30 birthday party.
But life had other plans.
Two minutes into our 35-minute drive, the gas light dinged—we were on empty. I missed two crucial turns (didn’t even see them), and suddenly our ETA had us arriving way late and driving on fumes.
We had a choice:
Get irritated, point fingers, and let the morning unravel.
Or pause, reset, and consider: Maybe we weren’t meant to be at church.
After a few deep breaths, an energy reset, and a moment to regroup, we chose the latter. And you know what? We ended up having a great brunch as a family instead.
It’s not what happens to you—it’s how you respond that defines you.
Lately, I’ve been working with people navigating enormous disappointments and unexpected turns: death, job loss, failed projects, relationship endings. I’m not here to sugarcoat pain or tell you “everything happens for a reason.”
But I do believe in the power of holding space for both/and.
The loss of a loved is absolutely devastating and you can still smile through tears, seeking joy in small moments.
A job loss can feel cruel and open you up to something better for you.
A failed project can sting and be the doorway to something far more aligned.
When we release the grip on how we thought things should go, we create room for possibility. For perspective. For presence.
And this practice—of loosening the white-knuckle hold on our expectations—isn’t just good for our mental health. It’s essential to recovering from stress.
We stress less not by perfecting the plan, but by building the capacity to recover when the plan goes sideways.
Because it will. It always does.
And sometimes, that’s the gift.
— Bree
P.S. If the spin cycle of work stress is something you want to leave behind, reply to this email and let me know what's been on your mind. I’ll personally reply and offer a resource or reflection to support you. You're not alone.
This Week's Did You Know? Withdrawal from Antidepressants May Be Overblown…
As someone who took an antidepressant (specifically Lexapro) after a major work rupture, I found the latest study results fascinating with wide ranging implications as 1 in 9 adults take antidepressants. Based on new research, it appears that the severity of the withdrawal effects may not be as bad as once thought and symptoms were more of a placebo effect following discontinued use of antidepressants. As always, consult your own health care provider but it's an interesting development that may make use of medicine as a therapeutic tool more accessible if the wind down of its use is less severe.
Source: NY Times, New Research Questions Severity of Withdrawal
Links & Resources We Love Right Now
A listen: My friend and biz mentor Jess Burgio shared her heart in a podcast about the Power of the Pivot, which offers real time exploration of the internal changes that happen on the inside during seasons of change.
A learn: I learned that the US Federal Reserve holds more than $245B worth of Italy and Germany's gold reserves since WWII era. It's funny how globalized and interconnected our economies really are. Filing it under “who knew?”
A shoutout: Independent news organizations, like NPR & PBS, who are fighting for funding to continue to share important stories not only the stories championed by big media. Sharing stories – locally and nationally – is essential to our democracy.
Something I love: Andrea Gibson. She is Colorado's poet laurate who won this week after passing from cancer (she did not want anyone to say she ‘lost’ the battle; she wanted to be remembers as ‘winning’). My feeds were filled with her beautiful poems in tribute to her life and her work. If you want to read her work, start with Love Letter from the Afterlife.
