Five Lessons for Healing After a painful Job Exit or Buyout
Weekly Dose of Work Recovery Vol. 4.23.25
One year ago, I was in the middle of an intense buyout process, exiting the employment law firm I co-founded. The stakes were high. The emotions were higher.
There’s a unique kind of pain and tension that comes when the people across the table know your strengths and your blind spots. And while the lawyer in me could hold her own, the human in me had to learn a deeper skill: regulation.
Because it wasn’t just about legal positioning. It was about protecting my peace and choosing to walk forward without dragging the past behind me. It was more than a professional separation. It was the end of an attorney identity I had carried for 15 years.
And now, one year later, I know I’m not alone. What surprised me most wasn’t how hard it was to leave.
It was how long it took to heal.
If you’re leaving a role, whether by choice or not, it's essential to build in more time for recovery.
We’re conditioned to move on quickly.
To get to the next thing. To land the next job.
To *prove* that it didn’t break us.
But here’s the truth: even a clean exit can leave a residue.
Acknowledging that you've experienced a work wound is the first step to truly healing, not just moving on. And if you don’t give yourself space to grieve, process, and recalibrate, you’ll carry that baggage of your work wound into whatever comes next.
This isn’t just about layoffs, RIFs, or buyouts. It’s about identity. It’s about letting go of what you thought your life would look like—and who you thought you were.
Here Are My Five Exit Lessons I Wish I Knew Sooner
1. Build in more healing time than you think you need.
Even when the exit is “done,” your body and mind may still be catching up. Give yourself space to unravel the internal stories, not just the external paperwork.
2. Don’t rush to rewrite the next chapter.
You don’t need to have the next thing lined up. Sometimes clarity only arrives when you stop filling every empty space with productivity. It wasn't until I was fully out of the firm that the idea of Executive Unschool, my consulting business, came to me.
3. Stop making your departure mean something about you.
You are not a failure for leaving. You are not disposable because someone let you go. Departures don’t define your worth, how you heal does.
4. Know your numbers.
Clarity on the financials grounds your confidence. Know what you're owed, understand your employment agreements and the policies that govern them, know what you're walking away from, and what possibilities you’re investing in next.
5. Regulate before you react.
Before the email. Before the mediation. Before the resignation. Come back to your body. Try this simple practice:
Place one hand on your heart, one on your belly.
Inhale for four. Exhale for six.
Repeat: *“I am safe to let go. I am safe to begin again.”
You don’t have to bounce back fast. You just have to come back to yourself.
And when you do, you might just find that the future you feared is more aligned than anything you left behind.
P.S. If you're navigating a transition—or still recovering from one—I’m hosting a free Work Recovery Challenge this May to help you reset your nervous system, recalibrate your direction, and reclaim your energy. Join the early list here.
This Week's Did You Know? $5,000 Baby Bonus?
The U.S. government is considering a Heritage Foundation proposal for a $5,000 baby bonus for married moms who birth a new baby. While the money sounds nice at first glance, it's paltry compared to the average $30k cost of childbirth and only a fraction of what it costs to put a kiddo in daycare until school. The math doesn't feel like it's mathing…
Source: NY Times, Trump Aides Solicit Ideas to Raise Birthrate
Links & Resources We Love Right Now
A listen: Have you heard of the “no new things” challenge? If not, tune in to my friend Lindsey Konchar talk to sustainability expert on how she's not buying any new things.
A learn: “Revenge bedtime procrastination” is what happens when busy and overwhelmed women stay up late despite being tired just to take back some control late at night. While it's not ideal for physical or mental health, sometimes it just feels good to have a few moments of scroll.
A shoutout: It's Wild & Wolves playoff season. There's nothing more of a let down than being a MN sports fan but maybe - just maybe - this is our year. Pretty please!
Something I love: Going back to the basics. To manage schedule disruption and home listing chaos, I'm going back to the basics with my bedtime routine for the best rest and regulation. Bath, meditation, journaling, goodnight!
